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How To Beat Writer's Block | 5 Top Tips

hannahknowles.writing@gmail.com (Hannah Knowles) — Thu, 02 Dec 2021 07:26:10 GMT

How to Beat Writer’s Block | 5 Top Tips

Beat writer’s block with these gentle but effective moves. Be the writer you truly are, you glorious wordsmith.

What Is Writer’s Block?

A blank page is the ultimate frenemy of the seasoned writer . On the one hand, it is a land of golden opportunity, a place of boundless creativity waiting to happen, beckoning you forth. On the other hand… it’s a yawning abyss of crippling, endless choice, with blurry options melting and morphing in front of you, just out of reach.

This deeply disturbing feeling of uncertainty is known as writer’s block.

Writer’s block has plagued humanity since the original wordsmith felt inclined to scratch some symbols onto a wall (I assume). We’ve all see the montage. A wild-eyed writer stumbles and fumbles their way through frustrated, fractured sentences, before throwing crumpled sheets into an endlessly overflowing wastepaper basket.

Well, you don’t have to be that messy haired cliche anymore. Give these tips a try and you’ll be blasting out words like a dictionary with diarrhea in no time.

5 Tips to Beat Writer’s Block

1. Let yourself make mistakes

Remember when you were a little tiny child, throwing stuff at stuff, covering yourself with paint and writing stories that went nowhere? It’s time to let that legend take over again.

When you write something, instead of scrapping it after the first few ‘terrible’ sentences, see how bad you can make it. Get ridiculous with it. Chase the dragon of stupidity all the way to the cave of outrageousness.

Making mistakes is a necessary and beautiful part of being creative. It’s how we learn what works and what doesn’t. It’s how we stumble upon genius ideas. Sometimes it’s just funny.

Perfectionism on the other hand, is writer’s blocks best friend. Do yourself a huge favour and slam the door in it’s stupid, perfect, judgemental face.

2. Free write regularly

Get into the habit of writing every day. When you write every day, you become used to the process of creating, and that blank page doesn’t seem so daunting anymore.

I use a site called 750words which encourages you to write (unsurprisingly) 750 words a day. You can set yourself challenges that encourage free writing. Let out a stream of consciousness and encourage that delicious state of flow - the nemesis of writer’s block.

This site is also great for analysing what you’re writing about, as well as assessing mood. So if you have something on your mind, you can work through it here. You can even set yourself challenges and win badges - yeah that's right BADGES - which is a great way to spur yourself on.

3. Change your scene

Take yourself somewhere else. A change of environment can feel like a breath of fresh air and what's more, it's a wealth of inspirational opportunity.

I like going to a cafe I've never been to before. I write about what and who's around me. Often you'll find that something sparks a tangent within you. Get that tangent followed.

If you're feeling a bit lost, literally just describe what is going on and write down whatever comes to mind. That might be the glorious architecture just outside of the window, or the aggy man who just came in and had a go at the cashier, or even the hungover person wearing wrap around sunglasses and looking like he wants to die.

There’s a wealth of opportunity but moments away.

4. Write in a different style

Many of us have a style of writing that we go to, automatically. Unfortunately, just as we can feel trapped by our physical surroundings, we can also feel trapped within the confines of the same writing style.

Beat writer's block by stepping outside of your comfort zone (which actually isn't that comfortable right now, so that shouldn't be too hard) and writing in a different style.

The beauty of this exercise is that you are simply playing. When writing becomes your main focus, there's a lot more pressure around the results. You may forget the reason you became a writer in first place - you love playing with words. So here is a chance to get back into that playful mindset and stretch your linguistic legs.

To start off, you might try writing some poetry in a less conventional style. For example, a Haik u or a Concrete poem.

5. Bounce your ideas off someone

Try a creative writing workshop . Some of us work best when we can develop our ideas with other people. Especially when creating a monumental piece of work, character development and plot development can become tangled in our minds. It can also be a great place to get ideas for new projects, or even to simply hone your writing style.

I offer bespoke creative workshops and one on one sessions, designed to help you bring your ideas to life.

Get in touch anytime.

You don't have to be this guy alone.

How to Get a Good Night's Sleep

hannahknowles.writing@gmail.com (Hannah Knowles) — Mon, 14 Jun 2021 11:18:44 GMT

9 tips for a naturally good night's sleep.

This article was written as part of a series of self care tips for PowerUp, a charity local to Manchester.

Self Care or Self ish ?

Self care might sound a little selfish, but this is not the case. Think about the emergency exit procedure on a plane. The steward tells you to always put your own oxygen mask on first, before you try to help the person next to you. This makes sense, because of course, how can you help the people around you, if you aren’t able to breathe yourself?

The same logic applies to self care; If you aren’t looking after yourself, how’re you supposed to look after anybody else? In this series of self care tips, we’ll be focusing on things you can do to look after you, which in turn, will go a long way towards helping you to look after the people you care most about.

Self Care | How to get a good night's sleep

The National Sleep Foundation guidelines recommend that adults under 65 get between 7 and 9 hours of sleep each night, while those over 65 need around 7 - 8 hours of sleep per night. Teens, young children and babies require even more sleep to support them through their constant development (follow the link above for exact figures).

Why is sleep so important?

Sleep is really important for the development and maintenance of your brain. When we sleep, we process all the information we’ve gathered throughout the day, and give our bodies the chance to repair and recover from any stress that they may have been put under.

Sleep allows us to get better at things that we’ve learnt, helps us to focus and generally leaves us more able to cope with whatever life throws at us.

When we don’t sleep enough, we can wake up feeling confused, irritable and generally more sensitive to things around us. It can be hard to focus on tasks, more difficult to escape negative, intrusive thoughts and life can generally feel more overwhelming. In the long term, not getting enough sleep can lead to the development of medical issues like dementia.

If you want to learn more about just how important sleep really is, listen to this fascinating interview with sleep expert, Matthew Walker to discover the many reasons why sleep is so important for those in search of a healthier mind.

9 Tips for a good night’s sleep

Turn any bright lights off. Switch to lamps at least an hour before you go to bed. Your body works to a circadian rhythm, which is your internal body clock. It lets you know when to sleep and when to wake. Bright lights confuse your body clock, making it harder for you to fall asleep.

Don’t take your phone to bed with you. The blue light that comes from your phone screen also interrupts your circadian rhythm, convincing your brain that it’s still daytime. It keeps you alert and prevents you from settling down. Instead of looking at your phone, try reading a book, or listening to something soothing like a podcast or an audiobook instead. Here’s one of our favourite sleep casts - Rainy Day Antiques , which is a story designed to help you to sleep.

Download a blue light filter onto your device. If you do have to use your phone, laptop or tablet right before you go to bed, download a blue light filter like Flux . This is a free app that transforms troublesome blue light into soft warm light that won’t keep you up all night.

Turn the heating off an hour before you go to bed. Your body likes to go to sleep at a certain temperature, and your body temperature reflects this by naturally dipping a little lower in the evening. If the heating is ramped up, it’ll be harder to get to sleep. In the same vein, you’ll find it hard to get to sleep if you’re too chilly. If this is the case, consider getting a hot water bottle. Simply putting your hot water bottle under your duvet before you go to bed can really make a difference in the colder months, and all it takes is a kettle full of boiling water.

Have a bath before bed. Having a bath before you go to bed is not just relaxing, it’s also a great way to regulate your temperature. The hot water actually changes the core temperature of your body, causing it to drop slightly, which tells your body it’s time for bed. If you’re having trouble sleeping, aim to have a bath around 90 minutes before you want to start dreaming.

Switch to non-caffeinated drinks after 4pm. Caffeine can prevent you from sleeping and can also contribute to those anxious bedtime thoughts many of us have. Either switch to herbal teas, like lemon and ginger, or get some decaf coffee and tea that tastes just the same and won’t keep you up all night.

If possible, only use your bed for sleeping and getting ready for bed. Then your body will associate this place with going to sleep, making it easier to fall asleep when the time comes around.

Quiet your mind. Many of us struggle with letting go of the thoughts of the day, and the worries of tomorrow when we go to bed. There are lots of breathing exercises out there that are great for calming a busy mind and helping you to get the rest you deserve. A basic one to try is placing your hand on your stomach and breathing in as you count to 4 slowly in your head. Then count from 5 to 8 as you breathe out, feeling your stomach rise and fall as you do so. Then repeat.

Exercise. Exercising, whether it’s walking to the shops, doing some yoga or lifting weights, will relax your mind and leave you feeling peaceful. You can do this at any time of the day, though in the morning, daytime or afternoon is often recommended if you’d like to fit it in with your natural circadian rhythm.

Sleep well! We’d love to hear what worked for you - let us know in the comments below.

Limerence or Love?

hannahknowles.writing@gmail.com (Hannah Knowles) — Tue, 13 Apr 2021 11:10:57 GMT

Limerence or Love?

Are you in love, or in love with the power that someone has over you?

Photo by Carol Oliver on Unsplash

“Before you, had I ever known love

Or had I only known misuse

Of the power another had over me”

Julie Byrne, Sleepwalker

I would often wonder why me and many of my friends ended up staying in relationships with people who made us unhappy for so long, or why we pined after those who we knew were walking red flags. I thought, how can this be love if it’s so painful for us, if the mental sacrifice feels so great - why do we return over and over again to these damaging partnerships?

Since discovering the word Limerence my fractured understanding of what love is, and what it is not, has started to make a bit more sense.

What is love? Baby, don’t hurt me.

What causes us to fall in love remains as indefinable today as it was when it first broke out as a thing in the olden days of yore. We might think we know what we’re looking for initially; maybe someone who makes us laugh or someone who’s a good cook. However, when that bewitching person pops up, our sprawling lists of delectable traits are often swept to one side, as we blindly surrender ourselves to the magnetic rays of our new found muses.

The reasons we fall in love span across a broad spectrum, featuring a confusing array of subconscious and conscious desires. Maybe we want to start a family, or to have someone to go on adventures with... or we could just be really really horny. This is by no means a complete list.

Whatever our reasons, the feeling we get when we find that special someone seems to be generally the same; a fuzzy sensation of excitement, often accompanied by a lustful longing, where that person becomes the focus of your attention in a big way.

The one thing we do know is that love is a two way street. Ideally, you’d both end up loving each other equally, in a way that is sustainable in the long term and makes everybody happy.

The language of... Limerence

Limerence on the other hand, is defined as

“ A state of mind which results from a romantic attraction to another person and typically includes obsessive thoughts and fantasies and a desire to form or maintain a relationship with the object of love and have one's feelings reciprocated. Limerence can also be defined as an involuntary state of intense romantic desire.”

Hold up, that sounds very familiar… Love, is that you?

Don’t be fooled by it’s charms. Limerence is more of an obsession than a healthy admiration. The object of your affection lives on a pedestal - the one you made for them in your mind - and your heart aches for them in a mildly painful way that makes you fantasise about somehow ending up in a lift together.

The similarities between the initial stages of love and the obsessive feeling of limerence are clear though and I believe Limerence can become love… but only once you stop seeing your potential lover as some kind of all healing, all knowing being, that was made specifically for you.

Shortcut, or deceptive detour?

From what I can gather, the path to limerence is paved with attachment issues and is a distracting detour from the big boy path of self actualisation - the motive to realize one's full potential. Essentially, the person you obsess about, the object of your irrepressible fantasies, may actually to you, be the subconscious embodiment of the missing piece in the jigsaw that is your life.

Maybe they remind you of the father who abandoned you, or the mother who never told you she loved you, and so this person becomes a reflective trope. It might feel as though they hold the key, that they and they alone have the ability to crack the case of Who The Hell You Are wide open. This may be because they represent a part of your life that you consider broken or unfulfilled, and through them, you feel as though you can repair that part.

We’re all trying to understand ourselves, and finding basically a modern day version of the person who is missing from your life, or has wronged you in some way and getting them to love you, can seem like a fast track way of dealing with your issues.

But though this might feel like a shortcut to self actualisation , it is more often than not a painfully unrequited detour that only leads to further rejection and further confirmation that you are ‘not good enough’.

The problem here is that if this person does not reciprocate, you are left feeling more empty than ever before. You’re rolling the dice in a really big way there and what’s more, even if they do declare their love for you, you are then completely reliant on this person for your self fulfillment. You hold them to an unsustainable standard; they tower over you and are not your equal, which is not Love, it’s worship.

The things we do for Limerence

A friend of mine gave up her religion for a man that she thought she was in love with. Her family turned their backs on her. The man she fell for unfortunately was a bit of a tit and basically ghosted her after she did this. She was alone, left with the choice she had made, ostracized from her community and sadly didn’t even get the man she had given it all up for in the first place.

2 years after this rejection, she was still obsessed with eventually being with this man, still painfully convinced that he was the one for her, even though they hadn’t ever officially been going out with each other, and he had told her he wasn’t interested multiple times.

And it makes sense that she would still be obsessed, because of the scale of the sacrifice she made for this ‘love’.

She left her family believing she would be filling that void with the love of this man, this personification of ultimate freedom, an embodiment of the parts of her that had been forced to lay dormant because of her religion. But when he turned his back on her, she was left in limbo. She and her family are very close and clearly love each other very much, but now things are different - they live in a different country to her and she doesn’t get to speak to some members because of the religious conflict.

She pines after her ex, with a mindset that ‘If only he would fall in love with me, then it would all make sense’ but unfortunately, the family shaped hole cannot be filled with this man, and she is left in a suspended state of obsession. This plagues her with bad thoughts about herself and prevents her from finding someone she could actually love.

Limerence VS Heartbreak

The danger of limerence is that unlike regular old heartbreak, Limerence doesn’t seem to pass as easily. At some point after a break up, the sun peeks it’s little head out and begins to tentatively shine on you again. Limerence however, as it remains unrequited, often is void of closure (especially if like my friend, the guy is an immature idiot). This makes it extremely hard to move on or let go. You feel all those intense feelings and you are left feeling as though a part of you is missing, the part of you that needed verification that you were worth loving, the part of you that thought this was the key to the next stage of your life.

The saddest thing about Limerence is that it taints your view of what a relationship should be like, and what love should feel like. We all deserve to be loved, and to love our partners equally, so make sure you’re falling for someone and not the power they have over you - or at least, learn how to turn those powerful feelings, if possible, into a reciprocated love.

Turning Limerence into Love

So, we’ve gathered that limerence can feel like the first stage of falling in love, or rather, more like the all-consuming crushes that many of us had in our teens. Surely, those intense feelings could translate into something of value? Of course they can, once your rose tinted glasses are put to one side.

As we’ve noted, when in a state of limerence, the object of our desire is idolised and held to a ridiculous standard of perfection and we’re swamped with overwhelming feelings. These can manifest both physically and emotionally, whenever they creep into our minds or lives, and as you can imagine this intensity of emotion is completely unsustainable.

If you’re lucky enough to nab your crush, (congrats first of all - teenage me would be in awe of you) there are two ways it can go:

If you continue to harbour these obsessive thoughts, rely completely on this person for affirmation and hold this person to an unsustainable standard of perfection, this will eventually lead to a painful break up full of let downs and misunderstandings - your hero has fallen, as of course, they would.
The alternative and best outcome is that you drop the facade and get to know the object of your affection properly. If you decide that you actually like the real them, and they like you as you are, you’ve a chance of falling in love with each other as you actually are, ‘flaws’ and all. This does require communication from both sides, which can be difficult, but with mutual respect this should be possible. If you can’t communicate, it’s not worth the misery . There’s nothing worse than feeling alone while in the company of another, particularly someone you idolise.

By being open and honest with each other, instead of hiding things or trying to live up to what you think they want you to be, you will have a much more realistic view of that person over time, which will allow you to move away from obsession and ease into a healthy, accepting and truly loving relationship.